3 Things I Learned from my Dad

As some of you know, my father passed away very peacefully in hospice Thursday morning July 27th at 2:15am. There were no regrets in his life or passing for me. He was a man who dearly loved my mom, loved both my sister and me, along with our spouses and all four of his grandkids, our daughter in-law, and his great granddaughter. He cared deeply about his faith and his church and loved to laugh about life.

Even in the most difficult moments these last few weeks, my mom, sister, and I were all on the same page. There was never a harsh word or sense of frustration in any of our discussions or choices. For that I am eternally grateful. I love my mom and sister and am thankful that we get along so well. That is a testament to my mom and dad more than anything. With all that said, here are three of the most important things I learned from my father.

1.     Love and Respect Your Family

My father always treated the three of us with love and respect. He stated many times that he had made a commitment early in our home that we would not fight and bicker. For the most part, that commitment held true.

As a family, we’ve done our best to treat each other with love and respect. That doesn’t mean that we didn’t have difficult moments, frustrating conversations, and disagreements, but it did mean that we entered those conversations with a great deal of care. We were forced to be thoughtful in our words, tones, and statements. Words carry weight and could do harm if not thought through.

Dad and I disagreed on quite a few things. He didn’t always like my politics, theology, or philosophies. I tend to be more progressive and liberal in how I see the world (that wasn’t him), but he always heard me out and listened to my views. Even when we disagreed, I knew he loved me, and he knew I loved him.

Yet, the most important thing he demonstrated was a deep love for my mom. He’s part of a generation that didn’t express affection much, but I never doubted his love for mom. In fact, his last words expressed his love, care, and appreciation for her. He knew he was a better man because of her, and he loved her for that.

2.     Faith Matters

Dad was deeply committed to his faith. He served in countless ways honoring his God, his faith and helping those who were a part of the church. In many ways, I learned the art of service by watching him and mom. They always demonstrated it well.

I watched him study his Sunday school lesson for hours, hoping to give his best to a small class of individuals who would gather each Sunday to share and laugh together. I worked with him many times fixing or building something at the church as a teenager. He and mom tithed faithfully to the church and gave sacrificially when it would have been easier to save money for a new car (not a Rambler or Dodge Dart) or a vacation that didn’t include camping in a tent for 6 days. He loved the church, and it was a big part of his life.

3.     Laughter makes the World Better Place

Few people loved to laugh as much as he did. It’s one of the things that stood out most to everyone who knew him. He always had a joke, silly comment, or a funny story for those who knew him. There were a few times when he tried to be funny and it didn’t work, but most of the time his sense of humor brought levity to the moment.

He loved to tell stories on himself. His weight, his outfits, the fact he was bald, the moments he messed up, and the times he embarrassed himself were some of his favorite topics. Simply put, he just enjoyed laughing about life.

Finally, his life for me can be summed up in one simple example. When I graduated college, I purchased a 1990 Ford Thunderbird. It was a car that seemed to constantly have front brake problems. The first time we changed the brakes, he did most of the work with me helping. He carefully and systematically showed me how to do it. A couple of years later when the brakes needed changed again, he sat to the side of the car and walked me through it, answering questions and talking me through the process. The third time, he sat in the garage and watched a football game and read the paper. He never said a word about the brakes or told me how to do it, but made it very clear that he was close by if I needed anything.

That pretty much sums up his role in my life. He was a great teacher, a consistent cheerleader, and I always knew he was near if I needed him. I will miss him when football season begins this year and will need to find someone new to ask questions regarding projects, but my faith convinces me that I will see him again on the other side.

Love you dad. See you soon.