Moving Forward

Recently I had a very good friend text me and say, “When you are done with your cancer journey, I want to know what you’ve learned.”

When she texted the statement, I laughed. I hadn’t really stopped to think about what I was learning. To be honest, I was just trying to stay alive. I was just hoping to make it through 11 rounds of chemo, radiation for a month, and two surgeries. But her words did cause me to think about what I was learning and what would be different moving forward. With that said here are those things.  

What I’ve learned:

• What matters most are relationships.

  • My family and friends have become even more important to me in this time. Careers, money, possessions, positions of power, and influence mean nothing to me without family and friends. I never cared much for those things before, but they matter even less now.

• Laughter.

  • Life should be fun and there is always something to laugh about, even in the midst of cancer. There is nothing more fun than telling the waiter/waitress that your brother-in-law is going to pick up the bill because you have ass cancer.

• I don’t have time to waste on silly stuff.

  • I am done with stupid petty silly debates (specifically within the church). The need to fight and argue about gay marriage, personal rights, gender, who’s right politically, or some ancient church dogma is over for me. I’ve got other things I want to do with my life. My God is not and will not be defined by church location, denomination, or dogma. I am called to love and nothing else. I purposely and intentionally choose to love, engage, and have relationship with those who see the world and live differently than me.  I’ll let others debate, argue, and whine about the other stuff.

• I don’t have time for mean people.

  • If you are mean and, in general, just pissed-off at the world, then I don’t have time for you. I’m looking for friends who want to enjoy life and love others.

• Making a difference in small ways.

  • I don’t have to make a difference in big ways…perhaps it is through the small ways that others are changed. Throughout the cancer journey, I decided to send a note of thanks and gratitude to someone each day. It is a great practice for me, and the response has been amazing. You don’t always have to be superman to change the world for others. Sometimes the simple thing makes the difference.

P.S. Thanks for your prayers!