Enough!

Several weeks ago, I had a friend ask me what I learned most about my faith and my relationship with God in the midst of my cancer journey. While the question is very similar to what I’ve learned, and I’ve spoken about that before, it did have a new flair to it. It caused me to reflect a little differently than I did before. There were many lessons learned in the journey…patience, focus, clarity, etc. There are so many things that one learns when they are walking the darkest path. But reflecting on the question really caused me to think about my faith during cancer.

So here it is, I found myself more content than I had ever been in my life. That may sound silly or may not make sense, but it was very real for me. I remember very distinctly walking the neighborhood in those first few days after the diagnoses and having this deep sense of contentment. There was this deep seeded belief that somehow whatever happened, I was ok. If my health improved all would be well, and yet if my life was shorter than I ever expected, it was ok. That’s not to say that I didn’t want to live longer, or that I thought that those I love would be good with me passing, but there was a deep sense that I was good. God had been faithful. God had been kind, gracious, merciful, and generous to me beyond what I could imagine.  

One of my favorite songs during my journey was Jireh by Maverick City Music. I heard it one week early in the cancer walk at Faith Church (it’s the church just outside our neighborhood we attend). When we heard it the first time, it immediately spoke to Katie.  For me it took a little longer. I found myself listening to it over and over again while I took those long walks around the neighborhood alone, and the more I listened the more the words meant to me. The line of the first verse, “Going through a storm, but I won’t go down” became my favorite line. I knew I was definitely going through a storm, but I had no intention of going down. I knew God would do his part, but I had a role to play in it as well. My faith, focus, and attitude would matter. Yet, I knew it would be hard, ugly, difficult, and more challenging than I could describe, but the chorus of the song continued to play in my mind, “Jireh, you are enough. I will be content in every circumstance.” God is enough and I can/could find contentment in my storm.

We often say those kinds of things, but we don’t always believe them or live into to them. Too often, the things of this world become the focus of our contentment (money, possessions, careers, etc.). We allow the things of this world to capture our attention and lives. Social media, politics, sports, careers, and desires become our focus. We forget that contentment will never be found in things of this world. The things of the world will never be enough. Yet, I am reminded that God is more than enough no matter my circumstance, my challenges, or my health. God is enough!