Own It
Almost always, your road to victory goes through a place called ‘failure’. - Bill Walsh – former 49’s Coach.
The reality is that life is not always easy. We often fail and run into obstacles. While some of these challenges arise due to no fault of our own, others are clearly a result of our own decisions.
As an example, when I was diagnosed with stage 3 Colo/rectal cancer in October 2021, I was 54 years old and had ignored my doctors, family, and companies request to get a colonoscopy at the age of 50. Now, I’m not implying that my delay caused my cancer, but I am saying that had I gone in at the age of 50, my diagnoses probably would have looked very different. I might have had a precancerous polyp instead of stage 3 cancer. My delay and hard headedness only made my physical health worse. I had convinced myself that I felt fine. I was in the gym all the time and had nothing to worry about. Those who knew me well encouraged me to do what was best for my health and I chose to ignore their instructions to my own detriment.
In order to taste success again, we’ve got to understand what led to this moment (or these years) of difficulty, what went wrong and why. We must deal with the situation in order to move past it. We’ll need to accept it and push through it. – Ryan Holiday – Ego is the Enemy
These days, I encourage countless people not to wait. Don’t delay seeing the doctor and getting your colonoscopy. It’s not bad at all and can save your life.
This same theme is true in all parts of your life. If we hope to live our best lives, we must own our role in that journey. We have to own our failures, short comings, and lack of effort. There are moments when life deals us an unfair hand, but there are many moments when life is hard, challenging, and difficult because of our own arrogance, ego, or poor decisions.
Hope is not a strategy! You must be new. – Mission Impossible Fallout 2018 / August Walker and Isa Faust
If we want to live the best, we must own our role in our lives. We cannot hope or somehow pray our way to the best life possible. For many individuals, hope is the answer. That’s not to say we move through life without hope, but each of us need to understand that hope alone will not win the day. You and I are responsible for our outcomes and actions. We must own our attitudes, outlooks, health, marriages, responsibilities, mindsets, actions, relationships, and disciplines if we hope to be the best versions of ourselves.
You’re becoming who you are going to be and so you might as well not be an asshole. – Cheryl Strayed – From: Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday – pg. 135
Our ownership in our actions plays a key role in how we engage the world, those we love the most, and those we work with on a day-to-day basis. I encountered this years ago as a VP at a Christian liberal arts university in Ohio. During my last years there, I served with a president who refused to own his role in the struggles of the university and his relationships with personnel. He firmly believed that any challenges, struggles, or relational problems were the fault of others. When he had conflict with faculty, staff or administrators (and this happened often), instead of owning his role in the conflict, he purposefully vilified, demeaned, and dehumanized others, blaming all the conflict on them. It was one of the clearest examples I’ve ever seen of a lack of ownership. His abuse destroyed countless lives, while those at the highest levels ignored their role in his behavior. Thus, a lack of ownership on the president’s part, and those to whom he reported, caused irreparable damage to people, families, and the organization.
For those of you encountering a significant challenge, I want to encourage you to own your role, your part in the struggle. Ownership is the first step in clearing the hurdle you face. It is the initial move in becoming the best version of yourself. This is where it all begins.
We cannot become who we want, or intend to be, by being arrogant, mean, difficult, disrespectful, demeaning, or dehumanizing. We are better than that. We are called to kindness, generosity, and courage as people seeking the best. We don’t have to settle for a version of ourselves that is less than what was intended to achieve our best. You can choose your best.