Perspective - Mindset
When I was a kid, my aunt and uncle owned a station wagon. Part of what I loved about the car was that the bench seat in the back faced backwards. As kids, we would ride in the back of the car facing the cars driving towards us. It was a blast. You could make faces at the people in the cars behind you, or wave at them. But most importantly, you got to see the world from a completely different perspective. While the others in the car were seeing life as it was approaching, we were able to see it in the past.
While all of us have difficult and challenging moments in life, sometimes changing your view can change your entire perspective. We often see the hand of God and the kindness of others looking behind us better than when we are approaching our pain. While I was always grateful in the moment, I can look back now and see how God acted, worked, and used others to prepare me and even care for me in the midst of cancer and my stroke.
I’m reminded of how gaining a different perspective can help us overcome even our most difficult moments. Twenty years ago, Katie and I had the good fortune of meeting Dr. Edith Edgar. Today she is a 96-year-old survivor of Auschwitz. She is one of the most wonderful, grateful and kind people I’ve ever met. She is truly an inspiration.
As a young girl, Edith and her family were living in Hungary when WW2 began. Unfortunately, growing up in a Jewish home put her in the direct path of Hitler and his henchmen. In 1944, at the age of 16, Edith found herself standing face to face with Josef Mengele (the angel of death) as she came off the train with her family in Auschwitz.
As they walked off the train, Mengele sent her and her sisters toward the camps and her parents towards the ovens (death). In that moment, Edith ran after her parents hoping to follow them, but Mengele grabbed her by the nape of the neck and threw her back towards her sisters.
I remember distinctly talking with Edith about this moment. As we sat there that evening, I asked her about her emotions and feelings in that instance. She responded by saying this, “I don’t hate Mengele. The very man that killed my parents, saved my life.” While the story is unnerving, the perspective is completely different than most people would experience.
Most of us allow the circumstances of life to dictate how we see the world around us. Edith decided early on that her perspective of the world would be different. She decided that she would find grace and beauty in the most unlikely places. She decided that she would give thanks when others chose to hate. She made the conscious decision to approach life differently. I’ve come to believe that was a huge reason why she survived and, even today at the age of 96, lives with such joy. She is a lady that sees the world in ways that are different from most.
Don’t demand to know “why such things exist.” – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations (pg. 111)
You see, you and I can choose to see life from a different perspective. You and I can choose to control our mindset. When we do that, we can survive and thrive in the most difficult of circumstances. Throughout my cancer and stroke journey, I decided that I would find the good and not blame God or anyone else. I chose not to ask why, but where. Where is God? Where is the beauty and joy in all of this?
I remember clearly the words of the oncologist the first day that we met with him. “Scott, don’t worry about the why? There is no good explanation for these things. There is no value in asking why? You will never know. Simply choose to do your best through the journey.” Why? That’s the question that most of us want to ask when life is hard, difficult, or challenging. WHY is NOT the best question.
The best question is WHERE? Where is God when my life is falling apart? Where is God when things go wrong? Where is God when I hurt and life seems too hard to handle? You see, if you stop and look, you will find God during your struggle. He’s there. He’s active. He’s working. You’ll see Him in the hands of those who bring you food and write you notes. You’ll hear His voice in the kind words, the text saying I love you and I’m praying for you. You’ll feel His presence in the arms that hold you while you weep and mourn. He’s present. You simply must choose to look for Him.
That’s the perspective you must take. That perspective allowed me to laugh and celebrate, even during my pain and sickness. I had reason to see it differently, but instead I chose the best. I’m grateful for ladies like Edith that set the example so well.
Choose the BEST. – Marcus Aurelius
Life is BEST with the right perspective/mindset.