MINDSET - ATTITUDE

When the boys were young, I was always trying to find some creative way to discipline them or help them be better men. (Please know I’ve asked my son for permission to tell this story.)

Our youngest son, Zachary, often struggled with his attitude. It was one of his constant challenges as a young teenager. He just always seemed to be mad at the world and frustrated with life. It was a never-ending battle.

I remember very clearly one day he was having a complete meltdown. He would have been 14 or 15 at the time and just couldn’t get his attitude in check. He was mad at everyone that day. He was yelling, stomping around and making life miserable for the entire family. After several minutes of this, I called him upstairs from the basement.

As we talked, I came up with an idea about how to address his attitude. I asked him to go downstairs, get out his Bible and start writing out Philippians Chapter 2. I told him, “You’ll come to a place where you know why I’m asking you to write these verses out. After you’ve written out the chapter, come see me and we can chat.”

After about 30 minutes he came back upstairs grinning. Philippians 2:5 says this, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…”

Now I know it’s a high bar to imply that we can always have the attitude of Christ, but remember most scholars would consider Paul to be a stoic. Perhaps it’s true that we can control our attitudes.  We can live as mature men and women who are not tossed to and fro by our emotional whims and attitudes.

Lessons about Attitude:

1)     You own your Attitude -

We like to think that we can control the world around us, but the truth is that very little of life is within our control. We really don’t get to control much in life. So many things in life are outside of our control. But we can control our attitudes!!!

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. – Victor E. Frankl

I often hear about patients who are or were unkind and mean to nurses, doctors, and other medical personnel while they are in the hospital. Early on in my cancer journey, I made a conscious decision to be kind to doctors and nurses. They have a job to do and, for the most part, they do a fabulous job caring of folks like me. They went to great lengths to assist, treat, and provide for whatever needs or concerns I had.

Probably no group was more amazing than the chemo nurses. They were always kind, gracious, and encouraging, no matter what was happening. Even when I got sick just prior to chemo one day, they graciously cared for me and assisted me through the entire ordeal.

You see, ultimately you are the one who chooses your attitude. We make the choice to be kind or mean. We make the choice to have a good attitude or to be mad at the world. Sure, what’s happening to us isn’t fun or fair, but how we treat others is up to us. You and I make the decision about our attitudes in each moment, situation, and circumstance. It is one of the few things that no one else can determine for you. It is your choice.

2)    Attitudes act as Thermostats:

People have a tendency to adopt the attitude of those they spend time with. – John Maxwell – Today Matters – pg. 44

I’m always amazed at the number of people who act like thermostats.  You know the folks who have the unique ability to make a party, meeting, or an event a downer by simply showing up. You know the folks whose lives are bad, the food is bad, the drinks are bad, everything is bad.

You and I know how it works with little kids. You have several little kids sitting at the table when the food is served. All it takes is one kid to say “Ooh Yuck” and suddenly none of the kids like what is being served. Unfortunately, it doesn’t change as we get older. Our attitudes often reflect the attitudes of those around us. The negative attitude of one person can bring down the entire mood or meeting. Choose those who make life fun. Choose the people who help you to see the world in a positive way.

3)    Attitude impacts how we see others…

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike. – Oscar Wilde

We all have those people in our lives who rub us the wrong way, the people who seemly just annoy us or get on our last never. One of the big challenges in maturity and faith is choosing to respond and engage those people with a positive attitude.

On more than one occasion, my lovely wife has told me something like, “You need to get a better attitude toward x or y person.” In each case, she’s been right. I was allowing my attitude toward person x or y to affect how I interacted with them. You see, our attitudes not only impact how we see the world, but they also affect how we see others.

4)     …and how we are seen

In recent years, the term RBF or Resting B&$CH Face has become a way of describing people who always appear mad. You know the individual who sits with a scowl on their face or just constantly seems angry. We all know people like that.

That’s the interesting thing about attitude. It doesn’t just affect the way we see the world; it affects the way the world sees us. Our attitude is our choice. We have choice regarding how we see others and how we want to be seen.

The best life is found in learning to control your attitude. It’s choosing to live more like Christ. It’s choosing an attitude that reflects the best. Choose the BEST!!! – Marcus Aurelius