Place vs. Purpose - Mindset
People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward it are wasting their time even when hard at work. – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations – pg. 19
In life we often place our focus more on place than purpose at the expense of our mental health. We believe that our happiness will be found by living in a certain place with specific people and possessions. We fail to find the real value in how we live our lives. Our long-term happiness is not found in place, possession, or people. It is found in purpose.
My purpose is connected to my reason for living. My purpose is based on something higher than what can be purchased or acquired. Purpose defines my life and reason for getting out of bed each day.
For years Katie and I lived in San Diego. If you know anything about the place, it is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Still today, people ask “did you like San Diego?” My response is always the same, “It’s not a question of liking San Diego. It is a question of affording San Diego.”
The scenery doesn’t guarantee joy, happiness, or peace. The location or place is not where your sense of purpose will be found. Your purpose is found in your life making a difference in the world.
During those years in San Diego, I was the senior pastor of a growing and successful church. They were good people in a wonderful location, but I remember very clearly about 4 years in, changing my approach to my life. Recognizing a greater need for purpose over place, I began to pray “God, put me in the place where my life can make the biggest difference.”
It was a prayer of purpose, not place. My life was no longer about living in a certain place, acquiring specific possessions, or even about achieving a certain position. It moved to purpose. What is my purpose? Why am I here and how can my life make a difference?
“Happiness can only be found by identifying and striving to achieve a meaningful purpose for one’s existence” – Jerry Hirsch – Founder of Lodestar – Life on Purpose – Victor J. Stretcher – pg. 43
Purpose is the constant reminder of what makes me the happiest. It is the ongoing challenge to live into the best version of myself. It is what makes me tic and brings me the greatest joy in my work.
When life is hard, challenging, and difficult, you begin to ask, has my life really made a difference? Have my years made an impact? What’s been the purpose of all this? Will my life leave any kind of mark? What was my purpose?
How does one define or discover their purpose? Sometimes it’s found in the why. Why am I here? Why do I get out of bed everyone morning? Why do I work for said company? Why?
“Do you want to be the richest person in the graveyard? The most attractive person in the graveyard? – Victor J. Stretcher – Life on Purpose – pg. 43
But, the ultimate test of your purpose is found in the headstone test. What would you like for people to write on your headstone? Someday all of us will die and someone else will define our lives, either with some eloquent words or a set of dots that connect a few years.
I’ve often told my friends, “I want my headstone to say simply, ‘I told you I was sick.’” Now that is said simply for comedic relief, but the question is a legitimate one. What do you want your tombstone to say?
When I was in high school, some friends and I were out driving trucks through open fields when we came upon a headstone. It was nowhere near a cemetery and had clearly been left in this open field. Being dumb high school boys (and we were dumb high school boys), we decided to load it into the back of the truck and take it home. For several years it sat in the back yard behind the fence.
When I went to college my friend and I took it to school with us and put it in our dorm room. We thought it would be a unique addition to the dorm room. After all, who has a tombstone in their room? Well, Chuck and I did. That is, until the Dean of Students found out we had it in our room. When he heard about it, he came down and insisted that it could no longer be there and had to be returned. We then explained that we really didn’t know where it belonged or where it had come from. Eventually he had the janitorial staff remove it and said he would take care of finding the exact place it belonged.
The interesting thing is that I really don’t remember anything significant about the tombstone. I remember that it was a lady, but I don’t remember the age, year of her birth or death. And I certainly don’t remember any statements on the stone.
Unfortunately, that’s the way we often live. We live our lives focused on things, possessions, money, and other elements that leave no lasting impact. Purpose reminds me that my life is more than a couple of dashes between a set of numbers. My purpose is much grandeur than that. My purpose is “To be in the place where my life can make the biggest difference.” What’s your purpose? What do you want on your tombstone?
As you move through the challenges of life. I want to remind you that you can find purpose. You can live your best life, making a difference in the world around you. Choose the best purpose for you.