Outlook - Mindset
External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations
Now some of you will read the title of this chapter and ask, “What is the difference between perspective and outlook?” That’s a great question. Let me explain the difference with a story.
When I went into my first appointment with the oncologist. We knew a couple of things. One, we knew that I had cancer and, while it wasn’t aggressive, it was serious. We also knew the journey would be long, but we felt we could make it.
It was the words of the oncologist that brought a quiet assurance to the situation. As Katie and I sat in the white room with a couple of chairs, a stool, an exam table in the corner, a small sink with cabinets, and the glowing fluorescent lights overhead, he calmly told us, “The long-term prognosis is very good. You’ve got this. It will be hard, but you’ll beat this.”
Those were the words we needed to hear. Yes, my perspective might have been one of concern, uncertainty, and even fear and my attitude was positive, but what I needed to know was the long-term outlook for my life.
Sometimes if we’re not careful, we can lose sight of the long-term outlook. We hear what we want to hear or worse, choose to believe that all is lost.
It’s all how you choose to see things. – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations – pg. 167
During my cancer journey and just prior to my stroke, my father passed away from liver failure. It wasn’t easy losing my dad, but he had lived a good life and had been a great father and husband, so it was easy to celebrate his life. The interesting thing was that during his own health issues he would often end up in the hospital. Each time, my mom would go with him and each time they would hear something different. My mom, who is positive, strong, and steady, always heard a good prognosis. My father, on the other hand, always saw life as a challenge, difficult, and a struggle so he heard something negative. He always saw his long-term prognosis as doom and gloom.
For years you could ask my dad about his health and he would always tell you the worst possible outcome. He always chose to see the glass as half-empty, with life being short and difficult at best. Each time, my mom would correct him and remind him that the doctor’s actual long-term prognosis was good, but that didn’t’ matter. It never changed his outlook.
Either pain affects the body (which is the body’s problem) or it affects the soul. But the soul can choose not to be affected, preserving its own serenity, its own tranquility. – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations – pg. 106
There’s no doubt cancer, strokes, liver failure, and other physical issues can be painful, but I get to choose how a engage that pain. I choose to what degree it will affect my outlook and view of the world. It may hurt and I may struggle, but my spirit and soul do not have to be destroyed because of the pain. I can move beyond the pain.
One of the things I learned through cancer was that pain can often be masked with nausea. I didn’t know this until one of the oncologists informed me. It was during my most challenging time and we were looking for a way to work through the nauseous feelings.
Each time I went into see a doctor or nurse; they asked the same question. Are you having any pain? My response was and still is always no. For most of my cancer journey pain was a choice. I knew pain would be part of the process, but I could choose to what degree it impacted my life.
Enough of this wretched, whining monkey life. – Marcus Aurelius – Meditations – pg. 126
Thus, I worked hard not to whine about my situation or circumstances. Whatever pain, nausea, or difficulties I was experiencing was only temporary. I could, and did, expect a better tomorrow. The long-term outlook was good. This was only momentary. My life and my body would get better. There was no need to whine or complain. I was alive and knew there was light at the end of the tunnel
You see, outlook is a choice. We make the decision about how we will see the world, our families, and our lives moving forward. We can choose to see the world and the future in the best way possible.
Choose the best!