Urban Meyer, Mars Hill and Toxic Leadership

In recent days, I have watched with many others the firing of Urban Meyer. As I’ve listened to others talk, I was reminded of just how many instances of toxic and dangerous leadership he continually exhibited. All you need to do is go back to his time at the University of Florida to see the initial patterns of a toxic culture. The litany of actions taken by him since those days is astounding. He and many of those who supported him were willing to overlook his bad behavior, hubris, and lack of integrity blinded by the wins and championships.

I would love to say that this kind of culture only exist in sports, Hollywood, politics, or the business world. But the truth is that it happens consistently within the church as well. If you’ve not listened to the Mars Hill podcast you need to. It is one of the more disturbing accounts of leadership within the church that I have ever heard. The level of hubris, toxicity, and abuse is unnerving. Again, all of it was overlooked because of the growth of the church.

For several years I worked for one of those toxic and abusive church leaders. It is hard to describe the level of spiritual, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse that I observed and endured for those years. There were countless moments where I witnessed the brutal and destructive impact this abuse had on me and others.  There were numerous things I learned regarding toxic leadership during these years. These are just a few:

The toxic leader is easily offended and paranoid.

The toxic leader lives in constant paranoia and seemingly takes offense to everything. They are convinced that everyone is against them. They see enemies and adversaries in everyone and every action. I found that the years of trust and relationship I had worked so hard to build disappeared over night. I found that the toxic leader always believed that anyone who questioned or challenged an idea, thought, or decision was considered disloyal and needed to be terminated. In fact, the leader I worked for always had to have an enemy or adversary, and once he/she was eliminated, a new one had to be found.  If you’ve listened to the Mars Hill podcast you hear this kind of situation constantly, and I found it to be true in my situation.

The toxic leader refuses to accept responsibility/ownership.

The toxic leader believes that the failures and shortcomings of the organization are always someone else’s fault. There is constant need to locate and identify the failures of others. In the six plus years that I worked for the toxic leader, we had one area of the organization that was constantly struggling. At one point, the toxic leader had complete responsibility for the area and it still struggled, but those struggles were always the result of someone else’s leadership. This one scenario happened time and time again. Thus, when something went wrong in the organization it always the result of others.

This means that there is little room for failure and ability to try new things. Thus, no one feels safe or secure in their job. Employees are always looking over their shoulder, concerned for their job, and often willing to place blame on others for their own safety and protection.

The toxic leader really never does their job.

These things mean the toxic leader is never really doing their own job well. They are so busy locating enemies, blaming others, finding the fault and failures in others that they fail to do their job at the level expected or needed. Thus, the important things like leadership, casting vision, representing the organization in public, long-term planning, etc. are completely lost. The toxic leader fails to do the things that are required or needed for the organization because they are constantly covering their tracks, looking for the enemy, deceiving, manipulating, and lying to secure a job they are not doing well.

All of this leads to a culture where the organization and its workers suffer. The toxic leader can’t help but create a toxic culture where others live in fear wrapped in anxiety constantly concerned for what the future holds.

Now, for those living in the toxic culture you’ll want to keep these things in mind:

You cannot fix the toxic leader.

There is no fixing the toxic leader. You can’t fix, repair, assist, or correct those who lead this way. They will ultimately destroy you while they are destroying themselves and the organization.

You cannot save the organization.

You may love the organization and may have served there for years, but you will not be able to save or change the organization. The toxic leader will always win out. He/she will do whatever is necessary to keep their position even taking the organization down with their own failure.

Most organizational leaders will not find legitimacy in your story.

We always want to assume that those at the top (overseers, boards, the highest level of leadership) will listen and act on the behalf of those who are being abused, but this does not often happen. In fact, it appears that the last place most people want to address abuse and toxic leadership is the church. The theology of the church and the understanding of church leadership often means we believe those in leadership no matter their abuse or behavior. Thus, the highest levels of leadership will not typically believe or act upon the abuse or toxic behavior of others.

The best thing you can do is find a path out.

This is hard and often very difficult. Many individuals have huge investments in the organization or community. Leaving is hard and can impact your family, but it is always the best option. Find a way out. You, your family, and your career will be better served locating something different. Make the change and don’t look back.

Finally, for someone, today, this blog will hit home. It will match your story and situation. Always know that I am willing and happy to talk, and process with you. You are not alone. Hang in there and don’t hesitate to find an ally.