Overcoming Obstacles

Many of you know that these last few months have been challenging. I would love to say that these have been the only moments that have presented significant obstacles in life, but that wouldn’t be true. We’ve moved multiple times over the last 30 years, dealt with family challenges, marital issues, struggled with health concerns, changed careers, and worked in some difficult situations. Like all of you, we’ve had our ups and downs, our moments of joy and sadness, and days when everything seemed to go right and then suddenly all of it fell apart. It is the nature of life. I would love to say that it is always easy or rosy, but we know that isn’t true or realistic.

As I reflect on those moments, here are a few things I’ve learned walking through the most difficult moments:   

Attitude Matters

There are very few things in life that we can control, but one of those is our attitude. It is one of the most challenging things we live with. You see, how you view and engage these challenges you encounter will be key to your overcoming the issues. If you see them as destructive forces working to destroy you or as negative moments beyond your control, then your attitude will reflect your view. Yet, if you see them as opportunities to learn and to see the world from a different vantage point, then you can rise above the momentary pain and struggles. For me, I am constantly trying to locate the silver lining in the struggle, challenge, and pain.

Recognize the temporary nature of the problem

As I noted above, most, not all, but most of our problems and struggles are temporary. There is almost always a way out or a light at the end of tunnel. As I often tell others, when I face daunting challenges, I can do anything for period of time. This includes jobs, difficult employers, and most of all chemo. 😊

Find a Community

If you are going to overcome your challenges, you can’t do it alone. You are going to need a community of people. You must surround yourself with the right people—people who love you, care for you, and want the best for you. Learn to lean on those you trust. They will help carry you through your most difficult times.

Participate in the Disciplines

I’ve learned over the years that actively and faithfully participating in some identified disciplines helps to make the difficult moments easier. For me, those disciplines became things like devotionals, journaling, praying, identifying things I’m grateful for, meditation, and sending notes of encouragement.  These things have allowed me to focus my life on the things that are most important.

Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned regarding these disciplines is the joy of not berating myself for a lack of time or failure in not participating every day. I grew up and worked in a tradition where your faith was measured and defined not by how you loved or treated others, but by how much time you spent in the spiritual disciplines. If you missed a day with your devotions, your faith was immediately called into question, and God was disappointed or, worse, angry because you had failed. You remember the song from the early 90’s, “I miss my time with you”? What terrible theology! The idea that God would choose to guilt us into more time. How crazy is that?

Nowadays, I spend a grand total of 20-40 minutes a day participating in all the disciplines above, collectively. And I only do them about 5-6 times a week. Here’s the deal. I think God’s okay with that. He’s not upset, mad, or disappointed. He loves me.

Finally, I would suggest you find some form of exercise that you participate in regularly. Walk, run, find a gym, do something. It will help alleviate stress and will allow you to sleep better at night. It is one of the best decisions I made. Even now with cancer, I continue to consistently participate in some form of exercise.

Control Your Response

Always remember, you can’t control your emotions or feelings, but you can control your words, and mindset. Your response to life and others will be pivotal to your success. It is easy to allow the stress and frustration of the moment to dictate how you respond. You can rise above those moments. You can learn to slow your response. You can learn to pause, think, and consider before you speak. You can actually learn to live your best and be your best even in the midst of life’s ugliest moments.

Don’t give up! You’ve got this!