Why Write…
“If you subscribe to the belief that all experience can be enriching, then you stand to benefit regardless of the outcome.” – Sam Weinman – Win at Losing – pg. 145
It is important to remember as you read this that there is something of value in every situation and circumstance. Even the darkest and most difficult moments present opportunities for insight, enlightenment, and growth. I have learned this to be true in every moment and instance. The biggest challenge is trying to locate or find those areas of growth, insight and wisdom in the pain. What I hope is that this will offer insight in how to locate those nuggets of growth and wisdom regarding the challenges.
What follows in these blogs are the things I’ve learned through the years of struggle. You see, it is those struggles that have made me the person I am today. While none of it has been easy, I am a better, stronger, and more well-rounded person because of those challenges and my ability to overcome. While I didn’t see that in the midst of the pain, I can look back now and see where I’ve grown because of my struggle.
My hope is that you find the strength and courage to face the challenges head on as you read this book. Even if you’ve not experienced the difficult moments, they are coming for you. We all face hurts and hurdles. We all encounter pain. What makes us unique is not encountering pain, but how we come through the pain.
For many years, my life was smooth sailing. It wasn’t until I reached my forties that I encountered those dark days. While I wouldn’t wish those struggles or challenges on anyone, I’m grateful for what I’ve learned. That’s why I write this book. I want you to find the light, joy, and peace on the other side. I want you to walk through the fire and find your best self on the other side.
With that said, read on and seek the best!
Cancer Mindset
When I started my cancer journey in 2021, my father-in-law (my primary care doctor) said this simple thing to me. “Scott, you have to control your mind. If you don’t control your mind, it will control you.” They were they most important words I would hear, and they were words I would live by daily.
From that point on, I worked to control my mindset. I took intentional steps to implement disciplines, habits and boundaries that would keep me in the best place possible mentally. Things that I had done for years occasionally, became strict practices in my life.
And except for three moments, I successfully managed to stay positive and strong throughout the process. Two of my low moments came on two separate times when I ended up in the hospital for extended periods of time and the third time was the first Saturday I was at home with the colostomy bag. Outside of that, I never struggled mentally. Physically, yes, but not mentally.
We suffer more in imagination than in reality. – Seneca (The stoic and Roman Philosopher) – Thirteenth Letter – On groundless fears
Stroke Mindset
On February 26, 2024, I was flying from Charleston SC to Atlanta GA on Delta Airlines. As we were landing in Atlanta, I had a massive stroke on the plane. Fortunately, the stewardess sitting in the jump seat across from me noticed that something was wrong. As everyone got off the plane, she insisted that I stay seated and continued to ask me questions, smiling at me as I slurred my words.
Finally, the emergency medical folks came on the plane and figured out that I was having a “massive stroke” (their words not mine). From there, they rushed me to Grady Memorial Hospital, where the amazing neurosurgeons, doctors and nurses took care of me. From the time the stewardess realized what was happening to the end of surgery was less than two hours. The young stewardess recognizing what was happening, and responding swiftly, saved my life.
While it’s taken months to recover from the stroke (and I still am), the primary thing I’ve found is that the stroke journey is all about the mind. In cancer, I could simply muscle through the pain, nausea, and fatigue, but with the stroke, it wasn’t the physical challenges, it was all mental. I’ve had to learn to control my mind in a completely different way. I’ve had to take different steps to ensure that I keep my mindset right.
Our life is what our thoughts make it – Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor)
Mind Fight
As you think about the MIND, you have to remember what my father-in-law said, “If you don’t control your mind, it will control you.” The ancient stoics believed the same thing. They believed that man could control his thoughts of the world and his situations. In other words, you must win the game, and the good news is you can win the game. You can control your mindset. You can control your thoughts.